Mr. F

Whoa, this guy’s straight? Well, what do you expect, mother? I’ve opened a door here that I regret. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

• Michael!
• We just call it a sausage.
• Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.
• Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Army had half a day. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Well, what do you expect, mother? But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Steve Holt!

Exit Strategy

Steve Holt! Marry me. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me.

1. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.
2. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.
3. That’s why you always leave a note!

Let ‘Em Eat Cake

I’m half machine. I’m a monster. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” I’m a monster.